A guide to my ongoing memoir project


My Childhood:
The Smell of Rotten Cucumbers (10/03)
How to Turn-On Without Drugs (1/04)
The Little Princess (11/04)
Vacation Bible Camp (11/04)
Girl in the Hood (2/05)
The Head of Ché Guevara (2/05)

The Rest of My Life:
Stopping to Smell the Cucumbers (11/03)
The TRUTH About Weight Control's Communist Underpinnings (11/03)
What's in YOUR Bed? (10/04)
Items from the Winterberger Collections of Fine Art and Americana (11/04)
Sunday, Vulture Sunday (11/04)
The Quest for the Perfect Souvenir (11/05)
Top Ten Reasons Why I Never Had Kids (2/05)
....Reason #2: Kids are not interested in you as a person.
....Reason #10: They are expensive and dirty and you can't leave them home alone.
....Reason #4: Engaging in Bizarre Activities
....Reason #6: You find yourself participating in activities you wouldn't dream of supporting in your own life.

Love:
How to Make Meatloaf (10/03)
My Brief Marriage to Hoss Cartwright and What I Learned From It (03)
also a limited edition artist book

Travel:
The Nights I Spent in Buford Pusser's Bed
Out of Respect for the Dead Elvis (2/05)
Bitch Slappin’ Through Europe (10/05)
....The problem of German food and how to avoid it
....Airline Etiquette
....Size Does Matter
....Nuns
Wife Swap 6/07

On the Art of Teaching:
Roadkill Art (9/04)
booty, booty, mustache, beauty: Breaking the Silence (10/03)
The Art Department Gaze (10/04)
The Cult of the Professor (10/04)
....Robert’s Rules of Order
....A Side Effect of PMS
Photography I: List of Required and Recommended Books and Supplies (10/04)